don’t even talk to yourself
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on
being an angry crier is the worst because people either feel bad for you or they think they won. like no. i’m gonna punch you in the jaw. i’m just crying i’ll still knock you down a peg.
Today in biology the teacher asked “why do chromosomes have to stick together?” And I whispered “because they’re bromosomes” and the guy next to me just about died laughing
It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.
unexpected pregnancy is actually so weird like you can accidentally make a person
I JUST SPAT OUT MY WATER
when shots are fired but you have a good comeback